I stopped Annie on her way out the door, suggesting we chat for just another minute after she told me she and Sam had not been intimate in a long time. I gave her the name of several good therapists with whom she could discuss the issues in her marriage that had led her to our office. Annie was a … Read More
Sleepless in Divorce: The chapters that were never made into a movie – Chapter 3
Since Annie wanted to file for divorce right away, we drafted a complaint for divorce for her to review. We convinced her to allege in the complaint that the marriage was irretrievably broken rather than to allege she wanted a divorce because of Sam’s adultery. We thought that would both protect their children from learning about the affair and keep … Read More
Sleepless in Divorce: The chapters that were never made into a movie – Chapter 2
Read Chapter 1 “I’m so angry, and I’m terrified. It’s impossible for anyone to get a job in the newspaper business anymore, and I haven’t worked in 20 years. What am I going to do? And you know what else? Sam doesn’t even want a divorce. He wants us to go to counseling again.” We talked a little bit about … Read More
Sleepless in Divorce: The chapters that were never made into a movie – Chapter 1
I passed Annie Reed Baldwin the box of tissues as tears started to roll down her cheeks. She was telling me that she had caught her husband, Sam, cheating on her. “How could he do this to me?” she said, crying harder now as she recounted how she had started to notice several months ago that Sam never put his … Read More
Co-parenting After Divorce is Hard. Here’s Some Blunt Advice.
In 1994, in Cass County, Minnesota, now retired Judge Michael Haas had (nearly) 200 blunt words for the divorcing parents appearing before him. More than 20 years later, Judge Haas’ words still resonate. In fact, Judge Haas’ advice to those divorcing parents was so profound that it was published as part of Ann Landers’s advice column in 2001, and has … Read More
The Top Five Concerns About Your Home During a Divorce
For many of our clients, the most valuable marital asset is the marital residence. When dividing all of the parties’ assets and debts, how do we deal with the marital residence? Obviously, we cannot physically divide the house in half. Here are the top five concerns that clients have when it comes to their homes. 1. Do we have to … Read More
Divorce Done Well: Five Tips to Avoid All Out War
Very few people contemplating divorce think, “I want to make this process as difficult and as expensive as possible.” In our experience, most people who are initiating the divorce process think, “I would like to make this as quick and painless as possible.” What happens, then, that so frequently turns the divorce process into combat? More importantly, what can you … Read More
Worried About How Your Divorce Will Affect Your Children? You Will Want To Read This.
A Book Review of “Divorce: The Art of Screwing Up Your Children” by Howard Drutman, Ph.D. Dr. Drutman’s sardonic new book, “Divorce: The Art of Screwing Up Your Children” is a “how to” book for parents who have become so embroiled in the battle with their children’s other parent that they also have become blind to how that battle is screwing … Read More
Thinking about Divorce? Here are 10 things NOT to do!
1. Do not focus on the “right time” to get divorced. There is no perfect time to make that decision, and there are many factors to consider. Prior to making any decision, you should consult an experienced family law attorney so that you will be prepared to move forward when you are ready. 2. Do not try to go through … Read More
Two Final Secrets to Manage Your Attorneys’ Fees During a Divorce
Divorce is an extremely trying time for the parties involved. Divorce is stressful and painful, even if you are the spouse that wanted to end the marriage. Not surprisingly then, resolving all the issues is not easy either. The divorce process is called a process for a reason. It is like grieving—you must go through the stages. How do you … Read More